i know

that this weekend is going to be awful. i'm not trying to be a pessimist. but sheesh.

my only hope at having a conversation for the next three days is to skype with my dad or get hit on in a coffee shop.

i hope i don't go crazy, but it's not even six in the evening yet and i already feel i have.

here's me in art form:

i write to you from school. hello!

so my thursday friend that i see every morning at this time...well, i'm looking right at him right now.

i sat in his spot this week just to see what he would do. when he got here, and saw i was in his usual spot, he went over and sat at the place i usually sit. hahaha, silly.

i wanna be his friend! he's even wearing a dredg hoodie! i love that band! not that much, but it could at least be a conversation starter.

but, approaching random strangers to only say, "hey, i see you every thursday morning, let's be friends." is sooooo scary to me! i shouldn't be afraid. but i am.

i think he wants to be my friend too. one day we'll talk. but until then!

i really have nothing to report on. i'm on top of my game this week! but i'm placing my priorities in strange things. i think i'm changing as a person. but i like who i'm becoming, so that's okay. i just hope my friends back in cali like me too when i visit them this summer.

GAH I'M SO EXCITED FOR SUMMER.

i'm making a vow now that when it's sunny, and i walk less than a mile (which is rare now) i have to wear heels. :)



today sent me on an emotional roller coaster. my dreams of studying in copenhagen shattered, basically. then i had hopes of edinburgh one semester, and barcelona the next.
this is edinburgh. pretty, no?

it's like harry potter land.


but i realized after taking a break form the computer that i am being immature, or rather, too young with my thought process. i just moved to seattle. why can't i just settle? (i guess i'm not the settling type) and going to scotland to learn spanish is just...silly. i personally don't think it's that silly, but some strange whisper of rationality tells me it is.
so i'm going to stay another year here in seattle. that way i can study spanish even more thoroughly than i had originally anticipated. then i will spend my last and final year either in madrid or barcelona. i would actually prefer going to salamanca, but our school doesn't go there. a year in spain would be wonderful.
here are madrid, barcelona, and salamanca in that order:

i know where that is!!! :D don't you love seeing pictures of places you've been before?

this picture does nothing for barcelona's apparent beauty. whatever google images.

salamanca!

hopefully next year for summer i go to macedonia/serbia/croatia/greece. a flight to serbia is only about $700, which is pretty easy to save up for considering it's over a year and a half away. this is croatia:


i'm sad i won't be going to copenhagen. really sad. reality bites.
but i promise myself to one day go there and live/stay there until i'm through with the city.
heres a picture of copenhagen, just because i love it and think it's the most beautiful city ever:




back to homework.

tomorrow i go see an adviser to talk about studying abroad for a year!!!
EEEEKKK

hopefully my questions get answered
we'll see.

um. not much to report on other than it's still sunny. rain comes tonight which means i'm probably going to get depressed again.
which is very strange because i love the rain. i love it but i've noticed whenever it rains i am very sad and my loneliness is enhanced. strange?
yay, vitamin D.

this summer i want to have lots of BBQ dance parties. euro style!

i don't have much to post on today. i had a great weekend. i'm very happy i don't live in riverside anymore but i wish i had some friends with me here.
i also wish i had more friends here.

i'm so social now! it's crazy. all i wanna do is go out and have fun and talk and be social and meet new people. I NEVER USED TO BE LIKE THAT.

anyways, here are a couple pictures of things i enjoy:

today (and yesterday) have been great!

yesterday the girl from my global warming class wanted to hang out with me!
so i took a bus to her place. got lost on the way. very lost.
but i ended up at her place and she drove to ballard. we went to my two favorite places about ballard: a french pastry place called cafe besalu. and then we got a cupcake at this adorable bakery. YUM.

then she took my to northgate which is this giant mall/ she made me shop beause i casually mentioned how i need clothes.
SHE REMINDED ME OF SANDRA SOOOOOOO MUCH. which was a bittersweet feeling. i wonder how she's doing in buenos aires.
anyways, after shopping, we drove back to her place. i read some of her magazines and drank tea while she watched TLC. then i really felt like i was hanging out with sandra even more.

but it was mellow and fun.

she kinda got me down though. she didn't do it on purpose though. she just told me that UW has this thing called 'the husky promise,' which means that the school pays for her tuition AND for her apartment. she lives in an apartment that's 1,200$ a month, and the school pays for it all! she only pays for her books!
and i guess more than 3/4s of the school gets this Husky Promise. i think that's so cool. but dang. i want that!

being an out of state student is so absurd to me. i pay over 3x what a Washington state resident pays. and they make it impossible to become a resident. it's really unfortunate. for me at least.

i also realized that my tuition costs so much that i actually save $2000 by studying abroad. it's cheaper for me to live in another country! by a lot!
so maybe i WILL go for a year instead of just a semester. but i only speak english, which poses a problem.



today i went with my balkan friends (Oli and Stevan) downtown. we walked around pikes. then we walked sooooo much!
we walked to the space needle through queen anne. then to fremont. then to gasworks park (which is my favorite place in seattle!), then back to the dorm. insaaaane walk. but fun!

i love having foreign friends for so many reasons.
they love walking
they like eating slowly and chatting
they're always there for you
they're relaxed

etceetc

i don't know what i'm gonna do when they leave. :(

but they said i'm one of the most unique americans they've ever met. they say i fit in with them well. so yay!
but really. they (they, as in foreign exchange students) have been the only ones that have talked to me and genuinely tried to become my friend. they like socializing, and having friends. and they are always there for their friends. it's just different with them, and i enjoy it much more.

they bought me a beer and we each drank one while sitting in the park in the sun. it was wonderful and relaxing. they thought it was silly how i couldn't buy it myself though, and that we have to hide in public places. they say that more americans are alcoholics than in their countries because it's the forbidden fruit here. and i have to agree.
it's a shame i'm becoming so close with people that are going to leave soon.

but maybe i'll just go abroad for the rest of my college experience.

drgoiet89eruteh8rgierhg

anywayssssssss. here is a pic of gasworks park:



can you imagine sitting with friendly, genuine people, in the sunshine while drinking a beer? just laughing and enjoying things after a long long walk.
i like the small stuff in life. and, according to them, so do europeans. lols

I love sunshine! seattle is an incredible city without the rain. now i understand what all the students have been telling me.

i transformed into an insanely happy person today because of it. it was semi-warm sunshine too! DOUCLE PLUS!

and tomorrow i'm going to ballad! yay i love ballard!

i need to start living life. every thursday between my classes i go drink a coffee in the same spot. every thursday i sit next to the same person. every thursday i want to talk to this person i sit next to every week. but what can i say? "hello thursday friend! how's your day going?"
i put myself in his shoes and imagined a crazy looking redhead coming up to me at ten in the morning and saying that. it'll only come off as creepy if i say that and it turns out he never realized he sits next to me every thursday morning.
i doubt this, so next week i'll start a convo with him!

ALSO. i go see a free movie every thursday night at school. and every thursday night i see the same guy. next week i'm going to talk to him too! i'll just say, "hi. mind if i sit here?" (he will of course say yes) then i'll say "i've seen you here the past couple movies they've shown here and you look pretty interesting."
it's a compliment! hopefully neither of them will take it weird.
but i've come to realize that everyone in seattle is weird. so who cares if i come off strangely? i never have to see either of them again.
gonna start living life!!!!

...starting next thursday. :)

here are a couple pics of today. my campus is beautiful. i need to take you guys on a tour through it. which will be soon, i promise.

i don't have too much to post on today. last night oli taught me how to make turkish coffee. so fun!
but it kept me up almost all night so i'm very sleepy right now.

i'm so excited to get back to riverside as this changed person. i'm going to cook for my friends and make sure we socialize a lot. talking is a great thing. and i'll make them coffee! i'm excited to just be in a house and not in a starbucks.

oli and i also decided we're not going to the gym anymore because whatever food we eat just turns into muscles and we can't loose weight. so we're just going to eat less.
wah wah i love food :(

anywayssssss.
here is a picture of something i love very much:


Macciatos!

Will I ever stop posting? Nope.

Can I just say how very excited I am to live the rest of my life?
The next ten years are going to be great.

Next year I plan on studying abroad (hopefully in either Buenos Aires, Mexico City, or a city in Spain). I'll either be there for a semester or a year, but most likely a semester. While there I plan on taking French. It's a lofty goal, I know, but I really want to be trilingual by the time I finish my undergraduate studies.
that will leave me with one year left at UW, and then i graduate with a BA in Creative Writing! Woo!!

Then I plan on immediately taking a break from college. When I graduate I will travel to Montreal for at least a week and talk to advisors at McGill University. If you've never heard of this school, it's considered the Harvard of Canada. it's way cool and very innovative. Plus, it's way cheaper. It funds a ton of it's students and makes it really easy for international students to afford it.
montreal is also a super cheap city to live in! relatively, speaking, that is. hopefully during this week i'll go with my parents for to Montreal as some sort of graduation gift from them, but if they don't want to get it for me, I'm taking a greyhound! I just need to know the city before i make complete plans.

then, after that week, (i will have already applied my fourth year of college in Seattle) I will immediately join the Peace Corps. (I may join Amnesty International, though. not sure yet). They make you stay in a country for 26 months. Goodbye 2+ years of my life! I want to teach little kids. it would be so much fun. I would prefer going to a Latin American country, but eastern Europe has sparked my interest lately.

I'm not doing it for the money, but by joining, when you get home the PC gives you about $3000 so you can set up your life back in the states. By this time i'll be about 24 years old. I may be 25.
With that money, which isn't that much, I will move to Montreal and (hopefully with the right advising from when I visited 2 years ago) I will start my post graduate studies at McGill for two years. I'll live in an apartment and get a Visa so I can work and afford school.
Montreal will be my home for 2 years at least! (that is, if I like it from when i visit it after i graduate)

What's cool about montreal is everything. hopefully Caitlin (who is my best friend in the whole wide world) will be living in NYC by then too. NYC is only about a 2.5 hour bus ride from Montreal. We can visit each other a lot.

When I graduate from McGill with my MA, i will move either to wherever Caitlin is, or wherever my parents are. Hopefully Caitlin will still be living in NYC and we can live together in the big city. I'll be 27.
Aren't we gonna be cute when we live together?


By 29 or 30, I will move to either Madrid, Copenhagen, back to Montreal, or I will stay in NYC.
hopefully it will be either Madrid of Copenhagen. These are two cities I'm absolutely obsessed with. i'll settle in by then and live my life!

I need a job that allows me to move a lot.
But ya, the next ten years of my life are going to be great.

this was a long post and i doubt any of you read it all. but still! i'm excited.

Greetings from the Law School at UW.
I'm sitting in the coffee area of this school, sipping on an Americano. This is a beautiful building! Take a look:


I asked the nice lady sitting next to me if she knew anything about this building. A random question to ask a random person, but whatever.
She told me that Bill Gates funded this building completely when his dad died. It's so pretty.
She was really nice. i like her boots too. I think i'll tell her that right now.

It's like permanent sunshine in here. Seriously.

Too bad everyone here is learning how to be a lawyer. I took out my book on Marxism and could feel all the stares.

Anyways, today nothing too special has happened. i was extremely productive. But i've always found productive people to be a bore.
Germans are sitting next to me. Cool.

i'm trying to stay positive but it's hard. i miss conversing with people.

i hate that my parents will talk to me for five minutes or less. that's so insulting. they know I'm lonely, and after five minutes of hearing how they prune the rose bushes they fucking hang up on me. that's mean and they know it. i even ask, "oh you're done talking to me?"
and they give an immediate yes.

and then my mom constantly says "stay strong" to me. what the fuck is that supposed to mean? if you want me to stay strong then i need support, even if it's an miniscule as a shitty conversation with her. and if she misses me so much, you'd think she would want to talk to me.

why they act the way they do, i'll never understand.

but it's sunny today. so at least i have sunshine.

I'm so grateful for Olimpija though. when she moves back to macedonia i fear my world will shatter. she and i get coffee almost everyday and walk and take the bus to new areas of seattle. she's fun to explore with. she and i talk for hours and even though we are very different, it's really nice having someone to talk to. i'm lucky to have her as my friend, even if she's my only one.
today we went to greenlake:

today consisted of writing a ten page letter to mr. ryan sheehan (whom i miss very much), and not much else.

i need a drink.

This song. this song. This was the song I was absolutely obsessed with. this was the song i listened to maybe 3869236 times in the year of 2006. this was the song of high school for me.
hearing it now, i smile and think of how silly i was to be so obsessed with such a cheesy song. such an upbeat melody accompanied with such sad lyrics? strange. but i loved it.

but now i listen to it and it gives me this odd sense of hope.
i'm in crowded rooms everyday, and yet i am very very alone. i'm sure everyone has felt this at some point or another. i thought i felt it when i was 15. but now i know i wasn't alone back then. in fact, i had no reason for the sulking i did when i was 15. but that's besides the point.
i didn't know what those lyrics really meant until today.

the whole "well, i'm here with you" part really gives me hope. gah i'm so cheesy! it's just nice to know that someone else may be alone in the crowded room with me. yes, i realize i'm taking the lyrics out of their context, but it's how i interpret it lately.
i like hearing this song and thinking that one day the fates will bring me and all the other lonely people that are coexisting close together in the same room and we will eventually find one another. i'm an idealist, whatever.

"if you've ever been alone...
you'll know."

the pain i thought i felt at 15...man, i wish i knew what i was in for.

I had a terrible day today.
AND I ate way too much. Seriously, I ate my emotions.

goodness. but i walked from here to downtown. to bellvue. back to downtown. then to capitol hill. then back to u-district. then i took a break in my dorm. then i walked to and from u-villiage. my entire day consisted of walking. i walked maybe seven or eight miles at least.

but nothing is good in the world when you have no one to smile and enjoy it with

I just updated, but i have no life, so whatever. Here's another post.
OMG Fremont is my favorite!
I love Ballard, but Fremont is pretty freaking cool. i just love the quirky Seattle boroughs. They are so unique and what I would define as quintessential Seattle. Pikes Place/Downtown is definitely a must, but if you could visit the lesser known, more local neighborhoods of this city I would highly recommend it. They have cheap and delicious food, fun and significantly nice people, and best of all, the cutest cafes in existence.
Fremont surprisingly didn't have many cafes, so Olimpija and I decided to drink our coffee in a bakery. OMG resisting their food was a toughy. Bakeries are a definite weakness of mine.
Oli and I decided to walk from the University to Fremont, which is only about a mile walk, but it ended up pouring on us. And since it was super windy, the walk was kinda agonizing. oh well it built character. Our pants were soaked though!

The first store we walked into of Fremont was this super expensive botique that this Swiss man owned. We talked to him for maybe 20 minutes. he was the nicest guy ever! he let us munch on swiss chocolate, and even gave us a free gift to send home since we told him we both weren't from here. so awesome!
plus, he had a husky. and those are the most beautiful dogs in existence. man, i wish i had a dog.

i'll stop being boring with my talking and post some pictures of Fremont...

shallom world!
So this is my new look:

I'm trying the whole old school eye liner with lipstick thing. mehhh i'm pretty positive it doesn't work for me. less people hit on me now, that's for sure. lol.
i hate how i love certain looks but can't pull them off because of my hair color an fair skin.
ahhh well c'est la vie.

anyways, off to fremont! pictures to come, maybe.

i haven't put a picture in here yet, so here's one.
this guys name is dan. i met him while waiting for the bus in ballard. according to him, he was famous in the 80s.
He's my favorite guy ever. I talked to him for at least 20 minutes. He showed me the CD he had out with his band and everything.

He's been homeless since 1992. I find that so absurd. That's a long time to be cold in Seattle. And showerless.

it's all rainy and cold here today. i don't mind though!
i want to go buy nice lipstick but the closest place i can think of that sells it is the macy's downtown. so off to downtown i go! i think i'll buy some apples at pikes while i'm there. and head to pioneer square to buy a sandwich. i've been buying so much lately. i really should cut back.
i will, after i buy lipstick!
i'm determined that i'll find a color that suits my skin and isn't overwhelmingly bold. we shall see.

i'm thinking of spending the weekend at my aunts in portland. i'll take the train down there. i can't decide yet though...

I got one of these. Then I went to Tumblr. And now I'm back here.
My blogging life is all over the place.
Remember Xanga? I used to have one of those.

Here's a little about me, since i guess that's what you have to do with every "first blog" you have:
I recently moved from California to Seattle.
I like it here a lot but I'm having a super tough time making friends.
I love the Spanish and french language.
I love spanish culture.
I love to write and read.
I love politics.
I love cafes.

I hope my blog entertains you as much as it entertains me.